Raising the Bar
by Meowth's Toon Dragon
Summary: When his plans to get the HTFs some cold drinks on a hot day goes wrong... he tries a DIFFERENT way to quench their thirst.... Originally done by Handyman34


Raising The Bar  
Starring Lumpy  
Featuring Everybody else

Note: This fic was originally done by Handyman34. I'm just the poster and the one who came up with one of the gags involving Shifty.

This fic is dedicated to the honored and cherished memory of George Denis Patrick Carlin, who passed away yesterday at the age of 71 from heart failure. A comedy legend, George's career spanned for over 40 years, bringing us over 15 specials and a number of hilarious books. He was one of the first comedians I'd ever heard and I can't forget to give him the respect he's so earned, even if it's just in a dedication in a HTF fanfic... This is for you, George. Make 'em laugh in Heaven...

It's a lazy late Summer's afternoon. We see Cuddles, Petunia, Toothy, Giggles, Flaky, Sniffles, Nutty, Lifty, Shifty and Lumpy all sitting around the park burning up with heat. It is just too hot outside! Toothy goes over to water fountain for a drink but the water evaporates before it hits his tongue.

We see Nutty lying on a picnic table dying of heat, when suddenly a newspaper blows into his face. Nutty looks at the newspaper and sees an add for a smoothie shop! Nutty goes "ooohhhoo!!" and shows the add to everybody. Lumpy nods and then we cut to everybody trying to pile into Lumpy's car.

But ... 8 kids won't all fit in Lumpy's car, Lumpy thinks for a second, and then gets an idea. We cut to everybody piling into Lumpy's trailer house. Sniffles walks around lumpy's trailer and goes through a door, in front of him he sees a flight of stairs and starts walking down them to go downstairs. We then cut to lumpy in the drivers seat of his trailer.

Lumpy takes out a set of keys from his pocket and blows off the dust, then he puts the key in the ignition of his trailer truck/home and speeds off. We then see the trailer roll on to the street and drive off to the smoothie shop, we then cut over to where the car was parked and see a dead, beheaded sniffles falling down the stairs.

You see, Lumpy's got a basement installed in his house, but his house is mobile so the downstairs doesn't go with it, it just stays on the ground, and as Sniffles was going down, Lumpy started up the car and it's moving..ness hit Sniffles and killed him. Sigh, this would be so much easier to show in animation.

So Lumpy and the gang drive downtown to the smoothie shop we can hear all the critters singing the HTF theme song together happily. After a couple hours of driving downtown, finally they arrive at the Smoothie shop. Lumpy parks and walks out of his trailer with Cuddles, Toothy, Giggles, Flaky, Nutty, Lifty and Shifty. They go to the smoothie shop, but oh no!! it's closed. They look inside and see Cro Marmot closing up shop.

Everybody goes "Awwww..." especially Nutty, who was really looking forward to a refreshing and sugary drink. Lumpy sighs, i guess it took him too long to drive downtown and now it's night time, where can they go to get a drink at night? But then, lumpy sees something on the other side of the street and smiles with glee.

Lumpy happily runs to the other side of the street and motions for the kids to come over. They all come over confused at what Lumpy is looking at. The camera turns around and we see that Lumpy is happily staring at a Bar! The name of the bar is "Mole's" don't get it? I'll give you a hint it's short for "Mole's Tavern" (i know that Happy Tree Friends can never have words or text, but it's just way too funny to pass up.)

Oh that Lumpy, when the smoothie shop is closed he takes the underaged kids to a bar, this cannot end well. Lumpy happily walks into the messy/filthy depressing bar probably because The Mole never cleans it up. The kids nervously follow him in. Lumpy goes up to the bartender (The Mole) and orders up a beer. The Mole hands Lumpy a beer and Lumpy gulps it down.

We see Nutty, Lifty and Shifty sneaking away from the group, L&S to go cause mischeif while Nutty just wants a drink. We see Nutty on a barstool reading the menu, then he sees a picture of a soda, hooray a sugary drink! Nutty orders up a soda from The Mole. Just then Disco Bear walks into Mole's for a drink. He orders up a margarita for himself.

Lumpy, refreshed after drinking two beers, goes "aaahh" he then looks behind him and looks over at the kids and sees that they're not having much fun. Lumpy thinks about it, and remembers that they were thirsty and then goes "A-ha!" and buys a mug of beer for all the kids.

Cuddles, Giggles, Flaky, Toothy and Petunia stare at the beer. Cuddles takes a sip and goes "Huh" then keeps drinking it. The other kids then try some of their beers. We see Lumpy watching the kids try alcohal for the first time and Lumpy going "Mmmmmmm-Hmmmmm" "I'm satisfied with that!"

He then orders up another round of beers for him and his friends once they finish there's. Now remember when Nutty ordered a Soda and DB ordered a margarita? And remember how The Mole is blind? Well The Mole accidentally switches their orders.

The Mole hands Nutty a margarita, Nutty looks at it, confused. He takes a sip, and goes "bleh!" and spits it out. The Mole than gives Disco Bear a grape soda and he goes "huh? this isn't wut i ordered!" he then asks The Mole to take it back and bring him back a margarita.

The Mole gives DB a new margarita and then he liberally applies some salt around the rim. Nutty watches him and goes "Hmm.." Then DB drinks the margarita with the salt and goes "Wooah! Oh Yeaaaahhh!" Nutty then looks over and grabs a pack of sugar, he opens the pack and dumps the suger around the rim.

Nutty then tries his sugar margarita, "MMMMMMMM!!" goes Nutty as he orders another drink from The Mole. Over at Lumpy and the kids we see them all finishing their drinks. The kids are all feeling real woozy. Petunia after drinking all that liquid, of course, has to go to the bathroom. Giggles hasn't touched much of her drink. Flaky finished hers and is feeling sick, Toothy also finished his and he's got a bit of a headache, while Cuddles is feeling floaty and dizzy.

Lumpy then comes over with 5 more beer mugs for his friends, but when he offers them, nobody wants anymore beer, they're all full. Lumpy shrugs and goes "aaawwww..." sadly. What's he going to do with all this beer? throw it away? Lumpy sighs, but then gets an excellent idea! "Why don't i drink the beer?

So Lumpy chugs down another mug, and another, and another, and another, and another. and now Lumpy is drunk off his ass. Meanwhile we cut over to Disco Bear who's looking around the bar, but then he sees Giggles and goes "ooooohh yeah..."

Then we cut to Giggles sighing of boredom, but then The Mole comes over and hands her a martini. she goes "huh?" and then The Mole points at Disco Bear because DB sent Giggles a martini. Giggles looks at DB waving and winking at her and she just rolls her eyes at him.

Over to drunken Lumpy, we see him staggering around the bar, but then he sees the pool table and goes "ooohhh!" Lumpy grabs a pool stick and aims for the cue ball. We cut over to Giggles who takes a sip of her martini and goes "bleh!" Then she takes out the little toothpick with the olive on it.

Giggles looks at it, then eats the olive. Then suddenly, while pulling the pool stick back, Lumpy accidentally hits Giggles in the back of her head with the end of the stick, hitting giggles head forward right into the toothpick. Giggles then gets the toothpick impaled in her eye! She screams and grabs the wooden toothpick and tries to yank it out of her eye.

But instead of pulling the toothpick out, Giggles pulls out her eye with the toothpick! She screams and drops her eye/toothpick and we see it drop into the martini glass with the eye on the toothypick resembling an olive. Giggles runs around screaming with one eye, and then bumps into a table.

She lies face down on the table in pain groaning as blood drips from her eyesocket, did i mention by the way that Giggles is on a pool table? We see drunk Lumpy with his pool stick, trying to find the cueball, we cut to Lumpy's POV (point of view) and see his hazy vision, and see him seeing a small white sphere that he thinks is the cueball.

Lumpy sets up and smacks the cueball with his pool stick, only problem is that it's not the cueball, it's Giggles other eye! Lumpy stick impaled all the way through Giggles head killing her. Lumpy then goes over to Giggles' eyeball, thinking it's the cueball, and lines up his shot and tries to sink the 8 ball, corner pocket.

Lumpy shoots and we see her eyeball roll along and hit the 8 ball and cause the 8 ball to bounce off a wall and roll right into the empty eyeball socket of Giggles. Lumpy "yes! hole in one!" We then cut to good ol Petunia, remember her? she drank some beer and then had to go to the bathroom?

Well she goes into the bathroom and looks around, it's absolutly filthy! Eeewww! screams petunia, as she then pulls out a rag and some cleaning stuff and starts cleaning up the big mess. Then we cut over to the jukebox and see Disco Bear walking up and putting a gold coin into it so he can hear some tunes.

DB presses the button for his favorite song, and is just about to start dancing, but nothing happens. DB goes "Huh?" and tries again by putting another coin. We then see that hiding behind the jukebox is Lifty, he broke the jukebox open and stole all the coins, and now when DB drops a coin in, Lifty just grabs it as it rolls down.

DB puts another and another coin in but still nothing. He sighs and presses the return coin button to get his money back but none come out. Then DB gets mad, and he angrily kicks the jukebox, accidentally causing it to fall backwards, right onto Lifty. DB, seeing as how he broke Mole's Jukebox whistles and quickly backs away, as we see blood slowly gush out from under the jukebox.

We cut over to Shifty who just stole some liquor from The Mole, Shifty laughs and then gulps some down. He goes "huh?" and then gulps some more down straight from the bottle. Shifty shrugs, not feeling anything. He starts walking off but all of a sudden he pukes on the ground.

Shifty then feels more coming on and he looks around for something to hold his vomit in. Finding nothing, he then pukes in his own fedora, and passes out on the ground. Back to Lumpy, drunk as hell, he looks at a clock and sees that it's been over an hour since they got here. He then rounds up all the kids and throws them into his trailer, Cuddles, Toothy, Flaky, and dead Giggles.

He also goes over to Nutty, who's developing an addiction to alcohal-sugar. Lumpy asks him to come along but Nutty wants to stay and have sugar martinis. So Lumpy picks up Nutty and carries him to the trailer while Nutty's kicking and screaming for Lumpy to let him down so he can get more sugar margaritas

So lumpy takes the 4 kids (and dead Giggles) and gets into his trailer, and backs up out of the parking space and smashes into someone else's trailer!!, and then drunk drives off into the night. We cut to Petunia who is just walking out of a super clean bar bathroom.

Petunia's smiling, proud of her work when she looks around the bar and sees that none of her friends are there. Lumpy, Giggles, Cuddles, Toothy, Flaky.. they're all gone. She quickly runs outside and sees that Lumpy's trailer is gone from the parking space.

By now Petunia is freaking out, like any underaged kid would for being left alone at a dirty bar. Petunia sits down on a bar stool and waits, hoping that Lumpy will come back for her. (hah! wishful thinking) then, Disco Bear sees her, and asks Mole to send a drink over to her.

As the mole sends a martini over to Petunia, DB remembers what happened last time and grabs the toothpick/olive and eats it himself, then throws it away. Petunia looks at the martini, then at DB, then at the martini and decides, "eh, wut the hell?" and drinks the drink.

We cut inside Lumpy's trailer and see Nutty, gnawing through his seatbelt, trying to escape. Finally Nutty gnaws all the way through and is free! Nutty then quickly hops out of the trailer onto the road and rolls, then quickly gets up and onto the sidewalk. Nutty really wants some more sugar margaritas and he'll do just about anything to find them.

Nutty looks around and sees that there's no bar on this street. Nutty sighs and walks foward, in search of a place that could sell hard liquor. We cut back to drunk Lumpy driving the trailer, he zooms by some cops, Handy and Flippy to be exact (don't they seem like a hilarious crime fighting duo. I would totally watch their sitcom. "Officer Handy and Flippy, two renegade cops on the edge!")

They see Lumpy speeding and swerving, so Handy hops on his police motorcycle and Flippy hops in his police trailer!! and they zoom off after Lumpy. Lumpy looks in the rear view windows and sees the cops signaling for him to pull over, but drunk lumpy just leans out the window, smiles and waves back to them.

We then see that Flaky (who as we know from the tv series has a weak stomach) is feeling pretty sick. Suddenly Flaky has to throw up! She quickly rolls down a window and pukes. She pukes on the street as lumpy turns left, Flippy follows the trailer, but then handy's motorcycle slips on the puke!

Handy screams as his motorcycle slams into a building and explodes! Just then, Lumpy does something incredibly responsible and smart, he remembers Petunia!! Lumpy than pulls a sharp U turn and speeds back down the road back to the bar to go get Petunia.

But when Lumpy does the sharp turn, it causes Flaky to fall out the window cuz she had to unbuckle her seatbelt to get her head out the window. Flaky falls onto the road and then gets run over by Flippy in his police trailer!!, killing Flaky. Flippy's tires pop because of Flaky's spikes and sends him sliding into a gas station, where he, the trailer!!, and the gas station explode, killing Flippy and everyone else at the gas station.

Meanwhile we cut back to the bar and we see Petunia all drunk after having 2 more martinis. Petunia is now as Drunk as a Skunk. (groan) She looks at Disco Bear, and then Petunia starts flirting with him!! gasp, she really is drunk! As Petunia flirts with DB, he goes "ahhh yeaah" and flirts back. Then Petunia puckers up and leans forward. DB smiles and quickly puckers and leans.

They're just about to kiss when drunk Lumpy comes busting through a wall of the bar in his trailer! He sees Petunia and then he drives right next to her and grabs her and pulls her in the trailer without ever so much as touching the brakes. But while doing so he smacks into Disco Bear and knocks him onto the windsheild.

And when he drove up next to Petunia, the side/rear view window of his trailer smacked into her head, beheading her. So Lumpy only pulled up her decapitated corpse into the trailer, but drunk Lumpy obviously doesn't notice that. We cut to Nutty who's looking around for a way to get some more sugar margaritas.

But what's this! Nutty sees in front of him a fairly large building with a blinking neon Martini glass on the top. Nutty happily walks in as the camera goes up and we see a blinking neon stripper light up, who was using the martini glass as a stripper pole. In other words, Nutty Just Went Into A Strip Club!! OH NOES!

We then see a nervous Pop in a trench coat without Cub, talking to the club security, Mime. We see Mime looking at Pop's I.D. and Pop nervously looks around and asks in sqeakenese "you promise to not tell anybody i was here?" and then Mime sarcastically pretends to "zip his lips" by doing that finger thing across his mouth. (that's the best i can describe it, sorry)

and with Pop talking to Mime, it's just enough to distract Mime from seeing Nutty walk in the strip club. Nutty goes in (btw, throughout the whole strip club experience, we never see any of the strippers by using tricky camera angles, just a leg or a furry fox tail once in a while, but never any faces or naughtiness, know wut i'm sayin?)

As Nutty walks over to the bar he sees Splendid, in his clark kent disguise, whistling and "hubba-hubbing" at some of the girls. finally Nutty gets to the bar and he sees that Cro Marmot is the bartender. Ha ha, Cro Marmot, smoothie maker by day, stripper club bartender by night.

Nutty orders up a margarita and asks for 10 packs of sugar. We see from offscreen the margarita come sliding over to nutty followed by some sugar packets. Nutty puts some sugar around the rim and drinks down the sugar margartia. "MMMMMMM!!" Back to Lumpy and the gang!

As you might recall, Disco Bear is stuck on Lumpy's windsheild. As lumpy drunk drives home suddenly, we see Cuddles being scared for life as he sees injured, bloody Discobear on Lumpy's windsheild in front of him. Cuddles' has got shotgun seat and Lumpy doesn't notice DB cuz it's over on Cuddles side of the window

While lumpy drunk drives, suddenly he sees many blocks away, a traffic light that just turned yellow, lumpy squints with a determined yet drunk look on his face, then slams the pedal to the metal and speeds down the road super fast to try and make the light b4 it turns red

We then cut to Cub who's home alone, and Cub is just crawling out the doggy door in the front door, so now Cub is crawling around out in the front yard, then he crawls out on the middle of the street. We then see Russell who's walking down the street, he sees Cub slowly crawling in the middle of the street.

But then Russell sees drunk Lumpy in his trailer speeding down the road headed right for Cub. Russell thinks for a split second, then decides to do the right thing! Russell runs out into the road and pushes Cub out of the way onto the sidewalk, sacrificing himself so that little Cub can live!

But then because Lumpy's so wasted he's swirving around on the street and accidentally drives up on the sidewalk, and in doing so hits Cub on the sidewalk, killing him. Russell stares at dead Cub for a second, thinking about wut just happend, but is then hit by another trailer!!. Ha ha, Russell's nobleness ended up killing both of them.

Lumpy is still speeding towards that yellow light, trying to make it before it turns red, going as fast as his trailer will let him.. when suddenly Lumpy notices a family of ducks in the road! Lumpy gasps and screeches to a sudden stop. And in doing so Lumpy sends Toothy flying forward.

You see, Toothy was sitting down in a regular chair with no seatbelt because they're in Lumpy's trailer house so they're ain't many seats with seatbelts. As Toothy goes flying forward because of the sudden stop he slams head first right into Lumpy's refrigerator. Then we see Disco Bear (who as you remember was stuck on the windsheild of the trailer)

DB cuz Lumpy was going so fast and then suddenly stopped, goes flying forward into the air. DB flies through the air and then smacks right into the big neon martini glass, the one that was above the strip club Nutty's in. DB falls onto the roof of the strip club and because he knocked into the neon martini glass he causes it to wobble and then fall over right on him!

We see Toothy rubbing his head in pain after slamming into the refrigerator. We see because he hit the fridge, the door swings open once Lumpy puts on the gas again after the ducks passed. Lumpy's just about to make that yellow light but then it turns red!

Lumpy slams on the breaks again and sends Toothy forward again, cept instead of just slamming into the closed door of the refrigerator, Toothy falls inside Lumpy's refrigerator, and causes it to wobble a bit and then fall down on Toothy crushing him. Lumpy hears the sound of something falling in the back, and decides to go check it out.

Lumpy looks over at the red light and see it turn green, he then thinks about it, hmm, how can i go to the back of my trailer and see what fell down, but still keep it driving? A-ha! Drunk Lumpy gets an idea! He takes a cinderblock and places it on the gas pedal, so that he doesn't have to drive anymore.

Lumpy walks back as the trailer!! goes forward through the green light and down the street, barely missing cars and skidding across the road. As Lumpy walks back he sees the refrigerator on the ground, he lifts it back to upright position, then decides he could go for a little snack.

Lumpy opens the door too the fridge and when he does we see all this sticky Toothy blood and guts stretch out, like the last scene with giggles in "Idol Curiosity" which btw is quite a good episode.

Lumpy looks around his fridge and then sees Toothy's head on a plate. He goes "MMmmm" takes Toothy's head out and puts it in the microwave. We cut back to the trailer and see that lumpy's cinderblock idea isn't doing so well. The trailer is swerving around the road out of control

Cuddles (who's in the shotgun front seat of the trailer!!) sees that it's about to crash so he quickly gets behind the wheel and turns just in time, but now Cuddles is headed straight for a building! We see Lumpy's trailer crash into the building and then run over Mime, the security. Hmmm.., wonder wut building Cuddles just drove into.

BTW, speaking of the strip club, remember Disco Bear? Well when the giant neon martini glass of the strip club fell on him, it didn't kill him, wut it did was break the ceiling causing disco bear to fall into the strip club. Disco Bear then gets impaled on one of the stripper poles

DB writhes in agony as he slides to the bottom of the pole barely lives and breaths his last breath. He's about to die when suddenly one of the strippers starts dancing on the pole he was impaled with. DB smiles and goes "oohhh yeaaaaaaaa..." and dies happy. I believe that's the first time an HTF has ever died happy, lucky Disco Bear.

So anyway, Cuddles drives crazily through the strip club, trying his best to not hit the strippers, and he can't quite reach the brakes with his short little legs. We then cut to Pop who was just watchin a stipper undress and we see stuff like bras and panties being thrown onto Pop.

But then suddenly Lumpy's trailer being driven by Cuddles smacks into pop and he hits the windsheild, Cuddles screams and quickly puts on the windsheild wipers, the wipers then wipe Pop off, but then, unexpectedly, the stripper's panties that were thrown onto pop get caught on one of the wipers!

The panties just happened to be around Pop's neck at the time, so now Pop is being choked by stripper panties caught onto Lumpy's trailer's windsheild wiper which is being driven by Cuddles. This has got to be the craziest/weirdest death i ever writtern 0.o

As Pop chokes to death and dies, we cut over to Nutty who just had another sugar margarita. We see Nutty, cuz of his sugar high spin around and around in his barstool, he spins so much that he falls off the stool. Then after he's on the ground, we see the bar stool seat still spinning.

Then because the bar stool got spun so much, it becomes unscrewed the seat cover falls off, so now there's just a cold, thin, vertical metal bar sticking out of the ground, but Nutty doesn't realize the seat cover's off. Nutty then gets up and jumps back down on his seat.

But instead of landing on a soft seat coushin, Nutty has a cold, metal bar impaled all the way past his rectum and through his stomach oy, that'de be painful. Getting a long metal pole impaled up ur rear. (0.0) . pooor Nutty. As Nutty dies on the ground, we see another margarita come sliding towards Nutty on the bar table from Cro Marmot.

The margarita slides slowly over to Nutty, and tips over the counter and falls on nutty's head shattering into glass and finishing him off. Cuddles drives around the strip club and hits more strippers and then finally busts through a wall and gets back on the road.

Meanwhile we see Lumpy in the back of the trailer eating some leftover warmed up Toothy head with a fork. Lumpy has a few more bites, but then feels full. He wraps the half eaten Toothy's head up in ceran-wrap and puts it back in the fridge. Lumpy then goes back to the front of the trailer and drives Cuddles the rest of the way home.

We cut to passed out Shifty on the bar-room floor. Shifty awakens from his passed out slumber and sees that only he, the mole and a few dead HTFs are left inside the bar... Weary and just wanting to get home, he puts on his hat, forgetting he threw up in it.

So he's covered in his own vomit he starts walking out the door, stumbling still a bit... but then he sees Lumpy's wallet laying near the broken jukebox. As he reaches to get it, he trips and starts falling towards a sharp piece of broken glass from the jukebox... He braces himself for impact, shutting his eyes tightly, but ends up falling just INCHES from the shard of glass... He opens his eyes to see the shard of glass sitting in front of him

Worn out, he just gets up, not even caring about the wallet and walks out, grateful to be alive... nauseated and tired, but alive...

We then cut back to the destroyed Strip club where we see Splendid in his clark kent disquise walk out of the bathroom, doing god knows what. Splendid, who was completly oblivious to the destruction of the club looks around in horror as he sees all the death and chaos.

But instead of helping, Splendid quickly blasts off and flies the heck outta there. We wait 2 or 3 seconds, then suddenly Splendid comes bursting down back into the strip club really quickly, and grabs a dead stripper, then flies back out just as quickly.

Oh God! 0o a Splendid necrophelia implication, i never thought i'de see the day, although wut he did in Helping Helps might justify it a little... ANYWAYS, we see Lumpy dropping Cuddles off at his house as if nothing's wrong and waves good bye. As a shivering, freaked out Cuddles quickly runs to the saftey of his house and and slams the door behind him.

He then locks all the locks on his door and goes over to his chair and sits down. It's been quite a scary and life-scaring night for cuddles, drinking alcohal, witnessing death, strippers, and dead strippers. Cuddles sighs with relief that he lived through the night, but as we all know, it ain't ending that easy for little Cuddles.

Suddenly and randomly Lumpy in his trailer comes bursting though the wall of Cuddles house in reverse! When Drunk Lumpy realizes he's in reverse. He breaks and then puts the trailer in the right gear. We then see that while going in reverse, Cuddles got impaled through the head on Lumpy's trailer's exhaust pipe!

As Lumpy drunk drives home we see Cuddles getting dragged along on the cement road cuz of the exhaust pipe stuck in his head. Cuddles screams as his road burns turn into road scrapes, and then turn into ripped off skin, and lumpy's drunk and swervy driving isn't helping much.

Drunken Lumpy drives along and parks where his trailer orginally was as we see dead cuddles still stuck on the exhaust pipe and dead Pop still's got those panties around his neck that choked him. Drunk Lumpy then stands up from the driver seat and realizes he's feeling really woozy and his stomach's feelin queasy.

All Lumpy wants to do right now is go lie on the couch or his bed and crash. We see him stagger though his trailer, and through his P.O.V. everything's all blurry and double vision. Lumpy's about to fall unconcious as he staggers back and is going to fall into his giant cabinet full of porcelin vases and good china.

But luckily Lumpy catches his balance before he falls. He then stumles over to an open window of his and is about to fall, but he regains his balance just in time. Lumpy then sees his couch, and quickly runs over to go lie down on it, but then his leg hits a footstool and sends him off course! We see him stumble towards the open doorway to downstairs.

We cut to a shot of the bottom of the stairs where we see rats feasting on Sniffles' dead carcass at the bottom of the stairs and lumpy trying to regain his balance at the top. So anyways, right before Lumpy falls down the stairs, he grabs the wall and regains his balance. Damn that Lumpy is lucky. He then wobbles over to his couch and falls down face up, unconcious on his couch cuz of all the alcohal consumption.

Well it looks like Lumpy's safe now, lying face up unconcious on his couch, no HTF left to come in and kill him, cept The Mole, Cro Marmot, and Splendid, but wut r they gonna do? Seriously it looks like Lumpy's gonna get off scot free, i mean can you think of a way for him to die? Didn't think so.

Luckily i can :) as lumpy's lying unconcious face up on his couch, he starts puking. It's true, when your body takes in too much alcohal, your brain does whatever it can to try and stop the consumption of alcohal by either barfing it out or making the person unconcious so that he/she cannot drink no more.

So as Lumpy invoulatirly barfs, the barf covers his mouth, and he chokes on his own vomit and dies. This is a sad and very possible death that has happened to people before, that's why whenever your drunk friend passes out, be sure to tilt him on his side so that he doesn't choke on his own puke.

Not the most gruesome death in all of Happy Tree Friends, but definitly one of the worst. Personally that's one of the ways i would really hate to die, so gross and cheap. Rather go out in a blaze of glory or sumthin. Then for the diddly doo we see an eyeball bubble up out of Lumpy's mouth with a pinkish-purple eyelid. It's toothy's eyeball cuz remember Lumpy ate part of toothy's head?

Moral: You can drive a hard bargain, but it'll be hard driving from the bar again (i made that up, clever don't u think )  
THE END!! THANK GOD!!

--

George Carlin

May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008


End file.
